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The chase was always the best part of us.
It captured our greatest moments that I’ll never forget of us. You always tell me we’re “mature” love, but honestly I would give back anything to our beginning. Overtime, you start to change. You would blame it on not having a job or money, and it’s very stressing to deal with. And me, I already had trust issues so I just felt you walked into a big disaster when you met me. I suppose my attitude changed you as a person gradually. Sometimes I regret putting you through all of that, maybe you could have been the same person as I met back then. We were just so carefree, and now we’re so uptight with everything. I liked our spontaneous moments, those were the moments I lived for. And eventually, I would start to change. I’ve grown so bitter. I rarely see my friends and I don’t really want to get to know anyone. You stopped talking to all the girls you used to talk to which was a good thing and bad thing. Soon, you would say “oh whatever I can’t do, you can’t as well.” I thought it was fair at the time, but overtime everything had to be an eye for an eye. It seemed like every time I made a mistake, you purposely do something just to make me feel what you felt even when I didn’t do it intentionally. As time went on, the traits I didn’t notice started to annoy me when we see each other everyday. You even get annoyed if I looked away when we talk. That’s how bad things got, where we can’t even talk about our feelings and just argue, It just sucks that we’re so comfortable around each other. Sometimes I just want to feel like I’m someone special to you. At least care if you’re about to lose me because you never know when it’s forreal. I would always ask myself this, but I just don’t knoww.
“Are you even in love with me anymore, or are you just used to me?”
I don’t post our problems up but I need to vent. It’s not the same, and I don’t think we’ll ever recover. You’re not the same, and I know we changed each other but I don’t like where this is heading. Maybe taking a break will help us gather our thoughts and see where our heads and hearts are at. I don’t like it when you yell at me especially if you get frustrated. I haven’t raised my voice at you lately, and I think it’s extremely unfair for you to try to get back at me every time I make a mistake. I never do the same mistake twice, just remember that. Don’t point the fingers at me when yours is just as dirty. In your eyes, I’ll never be right and it’s always my fault. I continue to let you think that just to avoid a fight. Quite frankly, I’m just tired of it. Tired of you having the control over me when I used to be so strong as a person. You were so sweet.. I can’t grasp who you used to be compared to now. I don’t know. I hope we can get better from here.